A chat with Kathleen

Introducing Geriatric Mum, Kathleen, who had her first baby at 47-years old after a long battle of trying. Kathleen is a member of my facebook group, and despite her being across the world in Canada, she feels close. Her story is positive and wonderful and I am honoured to have her on the blog.

Name: Kathleen

Age: 48

How did people react when you told them you were pregnant at an older age?

Everyone was super supportive, I think due to the fact that a lot of people had known about our fertility struggles and losses for over a decade. Honestly, people were so amazing. If anything, I was the one making jokes and self-deprecating comments, perhaps so others wouldn’t. I think the worst thing anyone said to me was after a loss we had 6 years ago, when I was 41, when my friend’s husband actually said I needed to get over the loss and it was my fault.

How did you find pregnancy?

Over the years, we tried everything to get pregnant, and the final decision was to use an egg donor. We live in Ontario, Canada and after a lot of deliberation we went to a well-known clinic in the US. I was very overweight and had a thyroid auto-immune disease and PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome). I lost 190lbs in two years after researching proper medication and putting in lots of hard work.

geriatric mum after weight loss
Kathleen – before and after her 190lb weight loss

The very first donor egg embryo transfer, worked. I never, ever gave up hope and manifested, had vision boards and everything imaginable to help me to stay positive. I was 46-years old when I fell pregnant and 47-years old when I had him – I am now48 with a 15-month old.

I was excited to be pregnant, I loved my body and wanted a huge baby bump. I was never worried about gaining weight, I just wanted to have a healthy pregnancy and baby. The pregnancy was good, although I started getting sick at about 6 weeks, it was nothing serious, just vomiting and constant nausea – and this was a constant throughout the whole pregnancy. My baby was thriving despite the sickness and I lost 30 lbs however I wasn’t worried because it all felt like a blessing – even the sickness.

At that time, I would hear co-workers and friends complain about pregnancy symptoms and I felt jealous. also I felt quite anxious throughout my pregnancy due to my history of losses and even right up to my induction date, I was scared my child would be a stillborn – I think that I felt the fear to a greater extend because I had a friend this happened to. It took A LOT of positive self-talk and trying to live in the moment for me to get through, and looking back, I was really happy at this time in my life.

We attended a fertility clinic up until I was 10-weeks pregnant and then sent to a high-risk clinic at the big local hospital, which was about 40 minutes from our home. I was seen monthly until the end of my seventh month, then twice a month and finally, every week. I was induced at 37.5-weeks due to my age, which is standard here in Canada.

My labour was 20-hours and the delivery was awesome. My little boy was born with jaundice and a small lip-tie, both of which were easily fixed soon after his birth. Due to the maternity system in Canada I was able to take 12-months off with him and I had a further 5-weeks of holiday time that I had accrued – it was a special year and I breastfed him for that time.

baby boy to a geriatric mum
Kathleen’s beautiful baby boy, Nickolas Jr.

Were you offered any memorable or unhelpful words of wisdom when you spoke to others about your pregnancy?

Honestly, it was a mixed bag. People shared awful stories, good stories – the good the bad and the ugly. I think that my age and my journey made me not stress about any of those things, I just felt so focussed about having my baby in my arms, and so was able to brush a lot of it off.

Describe how it feels to be an older (geriatric) mum?

The sleep deprivation at the beginning was tough. I was used to having a solid 8-hrs a night, and would never have classed myself as a morning person. Anyone reading this who is a mother will know that changes the moment the baby is born. The older and bigger he gets, the slightly more achey I am getting, for example when I am carrying him up a flight of stairs, but it is manageable and worth it.

For me, my biggest fear (and my fear of having another child) will be my age when my child/ren get older. I want to be around forever, with him, but I know that is not possoble. My husband is 42 and it different for him, he just doesn’t have the same worry. When I think ahead, I think about when I am due to retire and realise that my son will be the right age to go to University, and this feels hard. I often think about my own parents being such a huge part of my life and feel heartbroken that I won’t be there for him when he is my age.

geriatric mum cradling her newborn baby
Proud mother, Kathleen – age 47

How do the other ‘school’ parents react with you being older?

My son is now in day-care and I’m always the first person to bring up my age and story and the response from people is always positive. Thinking ahead to school – I am sure the mums will be so surprised when I roll up!

And finally, Kathleen, what advice would you like to share with other mums who happen to be older?

My advice would be to find your circle of friends – don’t be afraid to reach out. Finding We are Geriatric Mums was such a huge help and support to me, I found the Facebook group after I had him, but I know the support would have been equally as amazing prior to his birth.

I was advised not to buy a million things because they really need very little and it is true – I want all new parents to know this. The last year was absolutely not what I expected (the pandemic) and we all missed out on travel, visiting, playgroups and seeing the family. He hasn’t even met his cousins who live in Canada but far from us.  In truth, I don’t have anything to whine about, I spent 13-months with the most delicious, loved, scrumptious baby that I had waited for forever.

For my own mental health (from the week we were home) I got properly dressed every day, and wore lip-gloss, blush and put my hair up – it helped me immensely and I would advise all new mums to do the same, where possible.

I’d say to enjoy the times when they are sleeping a lot, that will change! Also, don’t Google things – instead talk to friends or other Geriatric Mums for answers. Googling just leads you down a rabbit hole of worry which isn’t healthy for you, your partner or your baby. Please know that your body will come back – it just might not be the same, even if it changes a lot, know that you did the most incredible thing a body is capable of doing.

geriatric woman, her baby and her partner
Kathleen, partner Nick and son Nickolas Jr.

What a incredible woman, and it gives us so much hope – doesn’t it? If you have a story you would like to share, just get in touch > lucy@shecoachesconfidence.com

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Lucy Baker is the founder of Geriatric Mum and she is a confidence coach helping women to feel confident. If you want to discuss anything confidence related, check out her website: www.shecoachesconfidence.com

A chat with Katy

Despite lots of heartache and some bad news along the way, Katy is a proud mother to five wonderful children, the last were born when she was 42. Katy has been a young mother and a ‘geriatric’ mum too, and here she shares about the ups and downs she has been through in life which have made her the strong confident woman she is today. Katy’s story is honest and wonderful and I am proud she is a long-standing member of my Geriatric Mum community. Here is her story.

Name Katy Pugh

Age 44

Tell us about yourself and your kids…

I was 19 when I fell pregnant with my first. I thought I was in love, I wasn’t. We had Imogen 9-days after my 20th birthday, in 1996. By the following March I was back at my Mum and Dads. Soon after, I got a job (my first) in a pub and met my second child’s father. Again, I thought I was in love. It turns out that when I was 6-months pregnant, I discovered he was actually living with his fiancé and their 7-month old son!

Harvey was born in December 1998 and looked exactly like his Dad. I was a 22-year old single-mother of two children, with different fathers (although they did have the same name, just to confuse matters). When I fell pregnant with both these guys, no-one was upset, no-one was derogatory – everyone was excited – my Mum especially. Dad was a bit iffy but that’s just most Dads I think. Mum told him off because they were 17 and 18 when they got married and had my older brother. I think in the 18-years that followed, I only had one boyfriend that I thought I could have more children with, we actually broke up because I was ready, and he wasn’t. It broke my heart for many years. By the time I reached my 30s, I had resigned myself to having no more children and I was happy with that. I wasn’t able to return to work after having Harvey until he started school (due to benefits and childcare costs) but once I did get back into work I wanted to better myself to better the future for my children.

two young adults sitting on a bench
Harvey and Immy

I started as a receptionist in a tanning salon and progressed to admin within the NHS, afterwhich I had an admin role for the Essex branch of a hospitality apprenticeship training company and I blooming loved my job! When I started there, Immy was 15 and Harvey 13. I had some freedom back, which was bliss. I have vague memories of hot coffee and trips to the gym.

Fast forward to 2015. I had downsized my housing association house because Immy had moved out. Harvey was getting ready to sit his GCSE’s, and I was afloat. I felt content with my life. I had no idea that a chance comment on a selling page would change my life forever

In my early 30’s (13-years ago) I dated a guy named Richie. It was never going to be long term – he liked his recreational activities too much for my liking. During our 6-months together I met his family and his soon to be Brother-in-Law. I got on OK with them, but they weren’t my cup of tea really. I thought the Brother-in-Law was a bit of an idiot if I’m completely honest.

So, the selling page story: I ask about the availability of an item online and the comment below mine, was from the Brother-in-Law that I just mentioned; “Hey Katy! Remember me?” I thought to myself, oh god really!? Anyway, we became friends on Facebook, chatted a lot and went on a ‘non-date’ about a week or so later, to ‘catch up’. I found out that he was divorced a year after he’d got married. We kissed that first ‘non-date’, and it was nice. I didn’t expect anything else to happen, but we saw each other every evening that week.

It was time to admit we had feelings for each other. There was me thinking I was quite happy the way I was!  After 5 weeks, Simon moved in with Harvey and I. We had already discussed kids and because he didn’t have any, he desperately wanted them. I had a good think about things and chatted with a co-worker about it and decided I wasn’t too old to have more. By summer, my coil was gone, and we were actively trying to conceive.

Geriatric Mum and her partner
Katy and Simon

It took until Easter 2016 for a positive pregnancy test result. Simon was over the moon and I felt happy that he was happy. He told everyone although I had wanted to keep it quiet. Over the following weeks, I wasn’t very well. I had the most awful flu-type illness and I couldn’t shift it. I was taking cold and flu remedies to help with feeling so awful. At our 12-week scan we found that our ‘baby’ hadn’t developed past 5 weeks. I hadn’t experienced this before. I’d had a termination at 24-years old, but this feeling was completely different. Even to this day, I still think I killed that baby. I have always thought that if I hadn’t taken the flu medication, I would’ve had a healthy baby to love and nurture.

Simon was so upset, but he was my absolute rock through it all. I had a surgical procedure to remove the failed pregnancy. I still think about that baby and what could’ve been, and it continues to makes me sad.

A year later, after that awful experience, I was pregnant again. As the 12-week scan loomed, we dreaded hearing the same sad news, but this time we were greeted with a happy, healthy, growing baby. This was the first time I had heard the term ‘Geriatric’ used. What?! I’m not old! I was 40.

How does it feel to be an older / geriatric mum?

Geriatric Mum! Not me – I am young at heart, reasonably fit and healthy. I had absolutely no issues with my ‘older’ pregnancies and my family and friends didn’t bat an eyelid at my age. When I used to walk around the supermarket, I was stopped all the time by people wanting to talk about my huge belly, but no-one asked me about my age. It’s rare to brag about age to strangers, but I was bragging all of the time. I said things like “I was 20 with my first and I’ll be 41 with my third” and “It is almost 19-years between this and the last pregnancy “. I loved being pregnant and appreciated it much more because I was older. I had really swollen feet and ankles and my god could I eat, but I loved it.

Then something awful happened. My daughter, Imogen, realised she was 18-weeks pregnant and in the process of a miscarriage. Baby Samuel Ronnie was born the day after my 41st birthday – she had been in labour for 3 days and sadly he was too young to survive. We had a funeral for him a few weeks later. I felt totally devastated watching my baby, my daughter, go through that, whilst I was pregnant.

Elliott Luca David Pugh arrived safe and sound 3-days before his due date. I was 41-years old. Simon proposed to me that Christmas Day, back in 2017. I said yes! We got married in July 2018, knowing that I was pregnant again! Just 2-weeks before the wedding I had to get a different wedding dress because the one I’d had fitted didn’t do up!

geriatric mum katy on her wedding day
Katy and Simon on their big day!
Family in hospital with newborn baby boy
The family with new baby Elliot

On the day of the scan (just 3-days after our wedding) I was nervous. I was worried that I wouldn’t cope if this pregnancy wasn’t viable – especially after mine and Imogen’s miscarriages. The scan was good and everything was healthy and developing properly. TWICE OVER in fact! My heart stopped with shock when I realised that it was twins – my first words were – “are you f***ing joking?” I was 11+3 weeks and a ‘geriatric’ mum-to-be.

I was under consultant care due to carrying twins who were sharing a placenta. This meant we were at risk of twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS). We were referred to the specialist team for extra care and had scans every 2-weeks until birth.Despite having huge ankles and wearing crocs and socks (which Simon hated!) the pregnancy was good. We found out at our 16-week scan in London that we had identical girls – it was lovely news.


How did you find pregnancy?

I loved being pregnant again. I’d forgotten what it was like when I was younger because it was so long ago and as a younger mother-to-be, I’d just assumed my pregnancies would be ok, I didn’t think about miscarriage, disabilities or even the future – I didn’t have a care in the world or a plan.

Having babies older is very different. I felt confident enough to ask the midwives anything at any time, my consultants were easy to speak to and informative. The hardest part was the end of my twin pregnancy – I was so heavy and in constant pain. My feet were huge but my blood pressure was completely normal. I begged to be induced slightly earlier than 38-weeks and my medical team agreed to 37-weeks. The day after Boxing Day in 2018, my body had other plans. I got up as normal at 6.30am and Simon was still asleep. I pottered around the house for about an hour. I went to the loo, made another coffee, sat down on the sofa and POP! – my waters broke at 34+3 weeks. Simon didn’t believe me at first, but he soon did when he saw the river of water from the lounge to the downstairs toilet!

I rang the hospital to let them know, the midwife laughed when I said I won’t be rushing in because I wanted a shower plus it was rush hour. We got to the pre-labour ward and I had a quick examination and it was at that point things really started to progress. Due to me having twins, we were moved onto delivery by 10.30am where I saw 2 of everything! I felt a bit overwhelmed and suddenly it hit me that we were having two babies!

I had an epidural and delivered Twin-1 naturally at 4.45 pm on December 14th 2018. Mia Jennifer was 4lb 1oz and perfect. Twin-2 decided to have a party and flipped herself upside down and back to front inside me. She’d never had that kind of space before had she! My consultant came in and after an internal exam we discovered that she was breech. My options were c-section or he could pull her out manually. I opted for manual, because the thought of a c-section scared the living daylights out of me. After a top-up of epidural, Orla Vanessa was born at 4.54pm, 9-minutes after her sister. Orla needed a little help to breathe and weighed in at 3lb 15oz. I got to see them both from afar and they were whisked off to neo-natal for support. Whilst I was in theatre having my placenta taken out, Simon was able to go and spend time with the girls. He took lots of photos for me to look at and I was just so happy – I cried and cried. I was lucky enough to be given a private room on the post-natal ward and I could see the neo-natal ward from my room. That first night, once I had got settled after visiting the girls a couple of times, I had the best shower ever and slept for 8 hours straight – the breakfast lady woke me up for a cuppa and cereal at 8am.

Katy and Simon with twin baby girls
Newborn twins Mia and Orla
Tired new mum with her twin girls
Katy with her gorgeous girls
Twin girls sitting deckchairs in the garden
Mia and Orla chilling on chairs
smiling happy twin girls
Oh those faces!

Were you offered any memorable or unhelpful words of wisdom when you spoke to others (friends, family, midwife, doc) about your pregnancy?

I had really good people around me throughout my pregnancies. I don’t remember any negativity at all. I’m pretty thick skinned though, so I would’ve just brushed it off anyway. Who is to say what age is right or wrong to have babies – if you want to, and you can, then do.

Describe how it feels to be an older (geriatric) mum?

In a word EXHAUSTING!!!! I’m always tired – so tired my tired is tired. I’m lucky if I manage to shower regularly, my diet is crap, I rarely get to wear make-up or dress up (pre-covid only occasionally), I lose my rag daily.

Elliott is hard work, he is into everything. He never walks – he runs around full pelt from waking up to going to sleep. I’m a referee for the most part. Mia is a gentle, sweet princess with an ear shattering scream and a Daddy’s girl. Orla is my little fire-cracker – sweet and gentle too, but a bossy boots and a Mummy’s girl. I am happy to say all 3 are thriving.

Lockdown has been a huge test for me. Elliott started pre-school January 2020 but only managed 7-weeks before Lockdown #1. I was reluctant for him to go back in July, but I got to the point my own mental health was suffering so much that we needed the break from each other. Simon and I managed to get Covid right before Christmas and were quarantined up until Christmas Day. I’m sure that if I was younger and didn’t have the same support or even ‘grown up knowledge’ that I have today, I wouldn’t have managed the last year in the same way.


Is your child in school yet? If yes, how do the other mums react with you being older?

I think I’m the oldest Mum at the pre-school gates (I’m nearly 45) but I know I don’t look it. I’ve been surprised a few times that someone was younger than me, when I thought they were older. One thing I do know, is that I haven’t got the tolerance for some of the younger mums. I have listened into conversations and thought to myself, is that how older mums saw me all those years ago at the school gates? I’m the first to admit I was probably a bit chavvy and gobby back then – I thought I knew it all.

We moved into the village we live in now in 2019. I don’t know many people here, but I meet new people all the time. I am a bit more confident starting a conversation these days and I don’t care what people think about me. Love me or hate me, I am me and that’s that.

The one thing I worry about in life is if I’ll stay alive long enough to see all five of my children grow up. Imogen and Harvey are 24 and 22, they are fantastic humans and I couldn’t be prouder of them. When the twins leave school at 18, Simon and I will be 60 and I’m sure at some point we will be mistaken for their grandparents!

Oh Katy – you are ace!

And thank-you so much for reading the blog,

Lucy.

If you are an older Mum and would like to join the fab Facebook group click here; JOIN GROUP and make sure you are follwing on instagram, too! @geriatric_mum

Lucy Baker is the founder of Geriatric Mum and she is a confidence coach helping women to feel confident. If you want to discuss anything confidence related, check out her website: www.shecoachesconfidence.com

A chat with Sarah

I know of Sarah through my group We are Geriatric Mums and I can honestly say she is one of a few people in my lifetime who has had a profound effect on my thinking. Sarah is a voice for us ‘older mums’ as well as a positive mover and shaker in the Down syndrome community. The way she adapted and changed her life a few years ago is something that brings a tear to my eye. Read Sarah’s story below and let us know what you think in the comments. Introducing, Sarah Pree:

Name Sarah Pree

Age 46

What age were you when you had your children, and how old are they now?

I had my first child, Charlie, when I was 23. My second child, Freya, was born when I was 25, and Marnie arrived when I was 43-years old.

How did people react when you told them you were pregnant at an ‘older age’?

Some people were surprised because I’d already had my son and daughter (who were in their early 20s) but on the whole, people were happy for us, mainly because my new partner Colin didn’t have any children of his own.

How did you find your ‘geriatric’ pregnancy?

My pregnancies in my 40s were quite different, because at this age it was the first time I experienced a miscarriage. I was 11-weeks pregnant and just approaching the “safety zone” of 12-weeks. It was an extremely traumatic time because it took nearly a year to conceive and so the sense of loss hit us hard. Thankfully, I became pregnant again two months later and was elated at this news, but fearful of miscarrying again, which is why we had a reassurance scan when I was 9-weeks pregnant. Both Colin and I felt a huge sense of relief to see a tiny little “gummi bear” with a strong beating heart and little buds for arms and legs. We left the scan feeling happy yet slightly apprehensive, but very much looking forward to our 12-week scan.

birth announcement on a scrabble board

The next three weeks flew by, and before we knew it it was time to see our baby again. But nothing could have prepared us for the news we were about to be told.

Our “gummi bear” was now a fully formed tiny baby, with long arms and legs, and a strong heartbeat. But things were about to change. Our initial relief at seeing the image soon turned to complete and utter shock as I witnessed the puzzled look on the sonographer’s face which really unnerved me. In addition to the facial expression, the silence in the room could have been cut with a knife.  The ultrasound lady informed us that she would be leaving the room and would return in a few minutes, because she needed a second opinion on the nuchal translucency reading which “seemed a bit high”.

We both glared at each other, not knowing what to say, but at that moment my instinct was hinting to me what was really happening.

The second sonographer was now scanning back and forth back and forth and she looked as equally as anxious as the first. I remember lying there feeling helpless, scared and I was trying so hard to stay together and composed. Soon afterwards, we were then told that the high reading may indicate a chromosomal abnormality, like Down syndrome, and that they would need to take some bloods from me to conduct further tests. We were ushered into a very glum room, you know the kind of room from an episode of Casualty, with tissues on the table and nothing on the walls. We waited there until I was called for the blood test.  

We left the hospital feeling crushed. The pain in some stomach was physical, much like the feeling of being winded. I will never forget it. The next few days were agonising whilst we waited for the results and it felt very surreal.

Most people leave the hospital with scan photos and proudly share with their friends and family this important milestone of the 12-week scan, but instead, we wanted to switch our phones off and be alone. Personally, I couldn’t deal with having to share the news that there might be a “problem“.

The day that we received the phone call with the results is something we will NEVER forget. I had a 1 in 2 chance of a baby with Down syndrome, a 1 in 7 chance of Edwards’ syndrome and a 1 in 13 for Patau’s syndrome and with this news I felt like my world had ended.

Why? Why us? I’d just lost a baby, and now this! It didn’t feel fair. I was quickly thrown into the next stage, which was, to make a decision. I already knew that termination was not an option for me, but I so desperately needed some clarity.

For me, Down syndrome was “doable”, but the other two conditions (Edwards’ syndrome and Patau’s syndrome) are not quite as straight forward. Diagnostic testing is the only way to get an accurate result and NIPT (Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing) is not as accurate as it is claimed to be and I’ve since learned that from speaking to many other mothers who have a child with Ds. I decided to have CVS testing (Chorionic villus sampling) and soon after we received the results to confirm that we were having a little girl, and yes, she had Down syndrome.

I felt a sense of relief upon getting the results. Relief that I could continue with my pregnancy and prepare for life through a very different lens. I set about educating myself so that I fully understood everything I needed to know and so I could be the best Mum for my extra special girl whom I had been blessed with – because that’s how I started to see this little girl inside of me – as a blessing. I felt grateful and thankful that I had been chosen to be her Mummy, and the one to love and care for her. Throughout the rest of my pregnancy, I received superb care and was offered lots more scans, which I took. 40-50% of babies with Ds have heart issues, but we were fortunate in that it wasn’t the case with our little girl. Another reason for the increased level of scanning, is that the placenta stops working so well in a pregnancy where the baby has Ds, but my unborn child and I remained very healthy and there was no cause for concern. Oh, and my consultants were often surprised when they looked at my notes and saw that I was born in 1974 – they thought I was about 10 years younger than I was! Get in!

Our beautiful little Marnie was born at 39+4 weeks. Her birth was assisted by loads of gas and air (entonox) and it was without complication.

newborn baby girl with down syndrome
Sarah and baby Marnie

Were you offered any memorable or unhelpful words of wisdom when you spoke to others (friends, family, midwife, doc) about your pregnancy?

A few people said “sorry” when I told them our baby had Down syndrome. I know these comments are not meant to be harmful, but really there is nothing to be sorry about, and I found it quite insulting. Mothers-to-be just want to be congratulated no matter what their story is, and I wish people would recognise that.

Describe how it feels to be an older (geriatric) mum?

Being an older Mum is fantastic! I had my first two children in my 20s and can definitely say that I much prefer motherhood as a “geriatric.” I am lucky to have good health and I certainly don’t feel like I’m fast approaching my 50s! I just go with the flow these days and I live life in the present, feeling grateful to have had the opportunity to be a mother later in life. I’m calm, I know myself really well and I don’t care about other’s opinions too much. I believe that when you are in your 40s, you feel much more comfortable with who you are, and your ability, and youth doesn’t give you that. Being ‘older’ definitely offers more balance to life.

Some wonderful words of wisdom from Sarah:

If any Mums (young or older) ever find themselves in a position where they were told their baby may have Down syndrome, my first piece of advice would be not to panic. We are nearly three years into our beautiful journey, and if I could go back in time, I would tell myself that piece of advice with absolute certainty. There really was no need to cry all those tears and feel swamped with the fears that I felt. The fear that I felt, was around the unknown, and because Down syndrome is so often portrayed as something negative, and because of that the natural reaction is to feel scared.

Sadly, the majority of the time, when expectant parents are given news of a diagnosis, it isn’t done in a particularly positive way. My advice would be to make sure you are given up-to-date, balanced information and ensure that you are signposted to the right support groups and the correct care pathway. And ask lots of questions.

The help and advice is out there. It sometimes just takes a while to find the right information that gives parents an overall balanced view.

I want to remind everyone reading that we all do the best we can, no matter what age we are. My message to mothers is to have faith in yourself – bringing new life into the world is truly amazing. Love who you are, love that your body has produced, carried and nurtured another human life. Never beat yourself up and think you’re not good enough. You are a hero to your child (or children) and the roots to help them flourish and grow. We all have gone through extraordinary times (Covid-19) and you have shown your resilience – so be proud of that. Women are wonderful and we should empower one another.

Much love and light to you all, and thank you for reading,

Sarah x

picture of baby with down syndrome who ius sticking her tongue out
I am not Down syndrome. I am Marnie.

If you would like to get in touch with Sarah, email me and I can pass it on to her.

Lucy.

If you are an older Mum and would like to join my fab group on facebook, click here; We are Geriatric Mums and make sure to follow Lucy on Instagram here @geriatric_mum

Lucy Baker is the founder of Geriatric Mum and she is a confidence coach helping women to be confident at work. If you want to discuss anything confidence related, you can find her email on the SCC website www.shecoachesconfidence.com

A chat with Amy

I first met Amy through my group, We are Geriatric Mums and realised that she lived just 10-minutes from my home in Kent. Connecting with other like-minded mums is crucial and after meeting Amy ‘online’ we met at a couple of ‘Geriatric Mum’ events (with lots of other fab women) and we have had a few boozy nights out, too. Amy has three children and had her last baby, after a troublesome pregnancy, at 33-weeks. This is Amy’s story:

Name Amy Iddenden

Age 41

What age were you when you had your children, and how old are they now?

I had Mia, my first baby at 22, she is now 19. At 37 I had my second girl, Matilda who is 3. I was nearly 41 when I had Sidney, who is now 1.

geriatric mum on her doorstep with family of husband and three children
Amy and her family – Husband Richard, Mia, Matilda and Sidney

How did people react when you told them you were pregnant at an older age?

Most people were okay, actually. Some said “you’re a bit old” or the typical “how old will you be when they go to school?” but generally the view was a positive one. Initially, my daughter (then 17) told me she thought I was too old to have a baby, but after some thought, she recognised that if we were happy, that was a good thing. She was heading off to University soon after we shared our news anyway, and she came to terms with it not really having a big change on her life, because she would be away.

How was your ‘geriatric’ pregnancy?

It was hard, due to major complications – I was in and out of hospital and it resulted in complications at birth and after, mainly due to negligence. My consultant, however, was amazing and didn’t make me feel that the issues were because of my age. She expressed feeling sorry that she had to see me in her clinic more as a result of my age. In fact, my midwife told me that I wasn’t old and it wasn’t unusual in her practice to see mums 40+ these days. So, in general, I had a really good experience in terms of my age with all medical staff that I met whilst I was pregnant.

Amy pregnant with Sidney

Were you offered any memorable (or unhelpful) words of wisdom when you spoke to others (friends, family, midwife, doc) about your pregnancy?

I did hear on a few occasions “you’ll be the oldest mum in the playground” 🙄, “you’ll be really tired because of your age” and “you’re so tired because you’re old”.

Describe how it feels to be an older (geriatric) mum?

Amazing! Having done it at, what I consider, a young age and at at much older age (40+) I feel much more confident and I would go as far as to say I prefer being an older mum (that sounds awful, but I don’t mean it like that). I think the preference comes from being more secure in every aspect of my life – financially and emotionally and that has come with age. These days, I enjoy my children so so much and appreciate every single second with them. Yes! I am tired, but so are my friends who are 10 years younger than me with young children, so in no way do I relate this to be ‘geriatric’ it is just a fact of motherhood. I have to say, I feel much more laid back these days and I think that helps me as a mum, too.

Sidney had a difficult start in life and I had a bad time pre, during and post birth. I was really poorly after having him and ended up having a hysterectomy to correct some of the issues I was having post-birth. Sidney was quite poorly afterwards too, he was in and out of hospital with bronchiolitis and it was a really stressful and unsettling time. Thankfully, we both are doing really well now, and despite having a rough few months running up to this birth and afterwards, my lovely baby boy makes all of the hard times we experienced, worth it.

geriatric mum holding her new baby who was premature
Amy holding 1 day old Sidney (first time she held him)
Geriatric mum Amy holding newborn premature baby Sidney
Amy holding 2 day old baby Sidney

Amy, do you have any top tips for readers?

My top tips are – firstly, don’t listen to negativity about your age – being an older mum is the BEST and I have done both young and old. Secondly, enjoy every minute of it, even the bad bits, because what happens is that the good outweighs the bad and the good will shine through, and thirdly, sleep when you can, and have lots of coffee and gin!

I love Amy’s attitude towards being an older mum, it matches mine. Despite having a tricky pregnancy and a worrying birth she now has a beautiful, healthy baby boy. We are Gerry Mums and proud!

Thank you, Amy.

Lucy aka GERIATRIC MUM.

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Lucy Baker is the founder of Geriatric Mum and she is a confidence coach helping women to be confident at work. If you want to discuss anything confidence related, you can find her email on her SCC website; www.shecoachesconfidence.com

A chat with Rachael

Rachael is an inspiration. After being diagnosed with breast cancer at 36, she went on to have her baby boy, Elliot at 42. Read all about Rachael and her story below, and her fab realisation at the end of the piece.

What is your current age?

44

At what age did you have your first baby?

42

At what age did you have your last baby?

42 – and sadly, I cannot have any more.

How did people react when you told them you were pregnant with your over 40 baby?

People were pleased. He was my first and he was my miracle post-cancer baby. I was child-free when I was diagnosed with breast cancer aged 36, and it is one of those things that women of that age don’t think will happen to them – but it does. My  first thought when I was diagnosed with breast cancer was “Can I still have children?”.  My breast care nurse was fantastic and, encouragingly, she told me to leave it with her. Three days after our conversation, I had an appointment at a fertility clinic. Many people don’t realise that chemotherapy can make you infertile – so freezing eggs / embryos is potentially an option for women who want to try and have a baby. I ended up freezing 7 embryos.

After active, hospital-based treatment, I was put on hormone therapy for two years – this is prescribed to reduce the risk of recurrence as much as possible. After the two years had passed, my Oncologist gave us the okay to try for a family.  We wanted to try to get pregnant naturally first, but after three months of trying, with no success, we decided to go ahead and use our frozen embryos. I had two rounds of IVF, both with the embryos that we had had frozen. Sadly, the first round didn’t produce a successful outcome – I did fall pregnant, but at my seven-week viability scan, they could see a heartbeat, but it was measuring small. A week later, I went for a follow up scan, and there was no heartbeat – I’d had a missed miscarriage. For round two, I had three frozen embryos left but only two survived being thawed. We decided to transfer both and hope that at least one was viable. Amazingly, one survived and was implanted, resulting in my little boy, Elliot. He is a two-year-old bundle of energy, and although things can be exhausting at times, I would not change them for the world. Without that final attempt at IVF, we wouldn’t have had children.

Were you offered any memorable words of wisdom when you spoke to others (friends, family, midwife, doc) about your pregnancy?

Not really no. I think they knew I just wanted him here safe and sound. They knew how much this meant to me and everyone was there for me to give me support. I was on blood thinners during the pregnancy and was also diagnosed with gestational diabetes, so my medical team kept a close eye on me. I didn’t mind at all, I found it reassuring rather than intrusive that I was being closely monitored and cared for. My midwife was brilliant – I felt comforted that she fully understood my situation. As a result of breast cancer, I only have one boob, and during my pregnancy I found myself stressing about breastfeeding – but my midwife reassured me it was possible. Sadly, after Elliot was born, I did not produce any breast milk, so we bottle fed him – but we tried.

Describe how it felt to be an older (geriatric) mum?

I felt isolated. During my pregnancy I went to NCT classes, and whilst I met some lovely people, in all honesty I was scared witless. I had no birth plan (I didn’t want one) and I just wanted my baby here safely. In addition, I was so used to being independent, and the thought of such a huge change in lifestyle was quite daunting.

Before I was diagnosed with cancer I was a bit of a workaholic. Ironically I was working in research and development – on oncology clinical trials for a pharmaceutical company and was working on a breast cancer drug at the time. I was busy and focused, and being a mum wasn’t something that I had in my life plan. When I met my current partner, I knew that I wanted a family. When I was diagnosed and during my treatment, my breast cancer gave me a huge reality check. I’d faced my own mortality. I’d understood, pretty much overnight, that I wasn’t invincible and my illness had helped me to recognise what was important to me. When I was diagnosed, one of my first thoughts was, “What if I die and I’ve never been a mum? What if I die having never experienced childbirth or parenthood?” Those questions are the harsh reality of a cancer diagnosis as a woman.

I won’t have any more children, Elliot is our one and only. I am taking Tamoxifen (my hormone medication) and will be for the foreseeable future. I’m disappointed that Elliott won’t have a sibling, but feel so lucky that he is in our lives. He is loved beyond words, he is our little miracle.  

Newborn Elliot

Is your child in school yet? and if so, how do the other mums and teachers react?

No – he is at a fab nursery which he loves and has lots of little friends there. And no-one has referred to me as grandma! (yet). 

Please write here about anything you think fellow geriatric mums would love to read about; advice, coping mechanisms, exercise beauty, body, pelvic floor or anything humorous or helpful.

Oh – I am happy to talk about my IVF/ breast cancer experience – ask away! Plus, I now know that being an older mum doesn’t mean your life goes on hold – it just changes. My biggest learning was not comparing my child to others – he did everything in his own time. Initially, I invested too much energy and worry in why he wasn’t doing things as fast as other children, rather than enjoying being in the moment. I’ve learned now that he is perfect as he is, and will do things at his own pace.

Rachael and Elliot
Elliot enjoying an ice cream

What an inspiring lady – Rachael you totally rock!

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A chat with Stacey

Meet Stacey, a 41-year-old mum of three children; Jade, 19, Nathan, 14 and Phoenix, 10-months.

Stacey

She lives in Derbyshire with her partner Rich, and they have been together for four and a half years. Stacey works as a supervisor and is currently on maternity leave, which she is totally loving.

She is a keen walker and enjoys running, which she’s hoping to get back into when she gets a bit more sleep.

She loves being a Mum again, especially because she wasn’t sure it would happen. Rich and Stacey tried for 6+ months to conceive and then sadly had a miscarriage. They were left wondering if that was their only chance and Stacey felt like she could almost hear her ‘clock’ ticking. Fortunately, just a month later, Stacey was pregnant again.

Below Stacey told me more about her experience of being a ‘geriatric mum’ so grab a cuppa and read on…

At what age did you have your first baby? 21

At what age did you have your last baby? 40

How did people react when you told them you were pregnant with your ‘over 40’ baby? I had lots of congratulations and people were generally pleased for me. I had a few people (that I barely know) ask if it was planned! I was shocked by the cheek of that question and found it very rude. I answered with a confident “Yes, very much so” but in my head I was like “it is non of your f#####g business!!

Stacey Pregnant with Phoenix, aged 40

Describe how it felt/feels to be an older (geriatric) mum? I love it! I feel wiser, I am more sure of myself and I am much more chilled than before. I truly relish every little thing my baby does because I understand how quickly time flies.

Stacey’s sound and supportive advice for other older mums is this:

Don’t worry about what others think of you being an older mum. I must admit I found pregnancy really tiring in the early days, but I kept reminding myself that nothing lasts forever. Pregnancy yoga throughout your pregnancy is great, because it can really help with the breathing part of labour and it helps to keep you calm.

Get as much support as you can from anyone, and do antenatal classes and get out there to meet other mums. I attended NCT classes and we have a whatsapp group that we chat on almost daily, we often meet up for coffee and there is even the odd night out – a must! My advice would be to read lots of baby books but only use the advice that feels right for you, enjoy your maternity leave and time with your baby and only go back to work when feel 100% ready.

Stacey and her beautiful Phoenix (3-months here)

Thanks to Stacey for sharing her story on geriatric mum, I am so glad that she had her happy ending after miscarriage. Do make sure you are following geriatric mum on social media:

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Lucy x

A Chat with Linzi

This post is about Linzi, a mum of twins. Despite living with illness, Linzi had healthy twins at 42 and in this interview she tells you what she faced and some of her experiences when she was pregnant and as an older mum. Over to you Linzi…

What is your full name? Linzi Meaden

What is your current age? 44

At what age did you have your first baby? 42

At what age did you have your last baby? 42

How did people react when you told them you were pregnant with your over 40 baby? Well my parents were floored! They never thought they would be grandparents and so it was the best news ever for them, and others were hugely excited and happy for us. Only a couple of people suggested it would be harder work and that they are glad they now have teenagers, not babies!

Were you offered any memorable words of wisdom when you spoke to others (friends, family, midwife, doc) about your pregnancy? Not really. Because I was expecting twins my family and friends couldn’t relate, so understandably no advice was offered. My midwife, doctors and consultant all said that it would be tough at my age!

Describe how it felt to be an older (geriatric) mum? For me, it felt the right age. I wasn’t ready in my twenties and was too ill with Crohn’s disease in my thirties. Being 40-something meant I no longer cared what others thought, too. I can remember saying, when I was 30-something, that I never wanted to be an older mum! Oops! I’ll admit that I’m exhausted with having twins and chronic illness too, but I can’t actually put into words just how blessed and lucky I feel to finally be a mum… a mother! It is love at a completely new level and I highly recommend it.

Is your child in school yet? and if so, how do the other mums and teachers react?No, they are only little. 

And below, Linzi has written some more about her experience of pregnancy, birth, babies and more. It is a lovely story and amazing what the human body can do even when faced with the struggles of illness.

From the age of 27 I was in and out of hospital having been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, associated arthritis and osteoporosis – an illness normally reserved for post-menopausal women. As a result, dating was off the cards whilst I focused on my health and holding down a career in HR.

Fast forward to 2007, I was 32 and I decided to go speed-dating with a friend on the eve of St Valentines Day. That night I met my now husband, who also happens to be an amazing hypnotist – am I still under his hypnotic spell I wonder?!! Ha ha!  On our first official date he told me he had 2 boys from a previous relationship (not married).  They were 6 and 4-years old and looked super cute in the photograph, we didn’t have Smart phones back then!

A few years later, he proposed on my birthday in 2011, which was also the eve of the Royal Wedding (Kate & William), and we planned to marry in 2012.  However, in November 2011 I decided to start looking at venues and found a beautiful country house with a last-minute date available – it was just 4 and a half weeks away and we we went for it.  Several family members asked if I was pregnant, I wasn’t, and we got married on 20 December 2011. It was a fabulous Christmas wedding.

My husband and I set up our own business together and had plans to relocate to LA, with a therapy clinic in Beverly Hills.  We were rushed off our feet with business, travelling and making plans and the years just flew by without us realising how much older we were getting.

In February 2016 I visited my Chiropractor and realising I was ‘late’ I popped to the chemist to get the magic stick.  When I got home, I tested straight away and yep, I was pregnant – it took seconds to show the positive reading.  We were both absolutely over the moon, yet a little bit apprehensive about being ‘older parents’ – my husband was almost 49 and I was 42.

After speaking to midwife, I was referred to the hospital for a 9-week scan.  Thinking it would be a general check, I said to my husband he didn’t have to come along as the 12-week scan wasn’t far away.  To my total amazement, the sonographer turned the screen towards me and voiced “here’s one healthy heartbeat and look, here’s another… you’re expecting two babies”. Well, that floored me!  I could not believe it and I burst into tears. Part of me wished that I hadn’t said to my husband he didn’t need to be there, I would love to have seen his face.  Anyway, that evening, I left a bottle of brandy with the scan pictures in the kitchen for him to see when he got home.  When looking at the scan image, he thought that there was just one baby and only when I told him to look carefully it clicked that there was two. The brandy was most definitely needed!

geriatric-mum-of-twins
The much needed brandy!

I suffered with bad morning sickness, so had to stop seeing clients.  We managed a last holiday away to Spain before our new arrivals, so that I could top up my Vitamin D levels and I even got a last round of golf in back home in the UK when I was about 6 months pregnant – that was fun!

We joined an NCT group and had our first local group meet up in September 2016.  There was another mummy expecting twins who I’d met at the local TAMBA meet up in May of that year, so it was good to be able to share the experience of expecting twins.  We were super lucky in that our group of 8 couples (expecting 2 sets of twins and 6 singletons) everyone was friendly and fun.  The youngest parent (mum) was 27 and the eldest, well yes, that was us!  The majority being 30 somethings.  We set up a whatsapp group and we’ve messaged every single day since.  We all regularly meet up, with and without the children, and I can’t imagine life without them – each and every one of them is amazing and I’m proud to be able to call them our friends for life.

Fast forward to the birth itself. We opted for caesarean section based on medical advice.  I had no idea what to expect. We were advised that the twins were to be born no later than 38 weeks and we chose 31 October (Halloween) to give birth to our little witch and wizard, which was 37 weeks and 3 days.  The pregnancy itself went really well, apart from the morning sickness. I was lucky because growing 2 or more babies, being geriatric (!) and having a chronic illness on medication could have gone against me, but it didn’t. Even the C-section was a breeze with the relaxing sound of Il Divo playing in the theatre.  Shortly after the birth, I started to feel pretty damn awful, despite being dosed up on morphine, but I couldn’t feel awful because two hungry little mouths and squinty little eyes were looking up at me wanting food and comfort.

geriatric-mum-of-twins
The new twins!

From that moment, my life changed, and it’s been the best most amazing time ever.  I still can’t quite get my head around the fact that I am over 40 and I gave birth to 2 babies at the same time.  Yes! I’m exhausted, but that just says to be me that I’m doing something right.

geriatric-mum-of-twins

Thanks to Linzi for sharing her story on geriatric mum. Do make sure you are following geriatric mum on social media, links below:

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Lucy x

A Chat with Philippa

I love chatting to other ‘geriatric mums’ about their experiences and I am so glad to bring you Philippa – read her story – it’s ace and her attitude to being an older mum is nothing but brilliant.

The stats:

Name: Philippa Newland

Age: 50

At what age did you have your first baby? 36

At what age did you have your last baby? 43

Read Philippa’s own words below:

I enjoyed my teenage years, in fact, they were pretty wild. In 1989, I left home with my first real boyfriend, and we got jobs in Israel, travelled through Egypt and worked the holiday season in Greece.  This was just the first year. 

The next year we enjoyed the un-spoilt beaches of Thailand, stayed a little bit too long, so took a gamble with our last $50 and discovered Tokyo.

This was the life, and with regular trips there in the early 90’s, funded many more years of travel.

Without trying to show off, I consider myself lucky.

I’ve flown on Concorde, (showing my age now..), been paragliding in South America, (in fact, I broke my pelvis!), jumped on and off a cruise ship travelling along the Panama Canal, hand raised a monkey, spent years renovating and running a backpackers lodge in Malawi and danced under the full moon in the ruins of Maharashtra Fort, to name but a few.

My body clock was ticking though, and I hadn’t met anyone interesting and I didn’t even know where I wanted to be.

On a brief trip back home, and in the middle of the Notting Hill Carnival madness, I met the man that had the same ideas as me. 

He was to settle me down and father the 3 children we had always wanted.

The only thing was, I was about to start an 18-month stint on a cruise ship, as a photographer, but he was patient and waited until I finally came home.

So we made our home in South East London and we had our first child pretty soon afterwards at 36, and the second at 38. I thought nothing of the fact that I was probably a bit older than most of the woman at the clinic. I was fit and healthy, didn’t look my age and thankfully there were no issues.

I had a boy and a girl, what more did I want? Yeah, but didn’t we always say that we would have 3? Our youngest had just started school, and I was feeling a little bit lost. Shall we? Shan’t we?

And so it happened, there I was, 42 and pregnant! It happened SO quickly, I just didn’t think it would happen straight away, but I was absolutely thrilled and with no reservations whatsoever!

 

lucy-baker-geriatric-mum

 

Unfortunately, after the first scan, my blood tests weren’t good. In fact I was high risk in every bad way. I was advised to have an amniocentesis* which wasn’t very pleasant, in fact it was absolutely awful! If I had actually looked at the tests, all 3 tests from each of my pregnancies were identical, it was just the fact that the odds go crazy once you hit 40 which led to the amnio test.

I absolutely LOVE being pregnant and this 3rd one was probably the best. Am I bothered that I may be the oldest mother in the playground? Absolutely not! I’m proud! I ABSOLUTELY HATE the term GERIATRIC MUM though!! My aim is to be a fit Grandmother! I have a great diet. I juice daily, don’t eat processed food, haven’t got a sweet tooth and I haven’t really eaten meat since I was 17.

I’m blessed with the ability to have children. They are my world.  I couldn’t give a monkey’s what people think of my age! In fact I was 50 last week! Yay!!

 

lucy-baker-geriatric-mum
Philippa’s World

 

And when asked what advice Philippa would give to other ‘geriatric mums’ she replied;

Sleep when the baby sleeps! Delegate! I had a lot of help the first month, and as I have 3 children, this was invaluable. Take gentle exercise, no high impact, save your knees! I walked, and still do, sometimes 2 hours a day.

Don’t you think Philippa is an inspiration? her attitude to life and kids is so wonderful to read and I know she might help other GMs to think in a different way about their circumstances.

Thank you Philippa!

Lucy x

Have you joined my free facebook group yet? It’s a great place for us GMs to share stories and experiences; Join We are Geriatric Mums group

Philippa is a photographer and you can find her here:

Pip Newland Photography

www.pipnewlandphotography.com

*Amniocentesis is a test you may be offered during pregnancy to check if your baby has a genetic or chromosomal condition, such as Down’s, Edwards’ or Patau’s syndrome. It involves removing and testing a small sample of cells from the amniotic fluid – the fluid that surrounds the unborn baby in the womb (uterus).

A Chat with Jennie

I had a chat with fellow geriatric mum, Jennie. Below she describes her experiences of being an older mum which covers miscarriage, heartache, depression, joy and feeling fit, oh and her dislike of the term ‘geriatric mum’ – Welcome to Jennie!

What is your full name? Jennie Galgey

How old are you? 47

At what age did you have your first baby? 32

At what age did you have your last baby? 42

How did people react when you told them you were pregnant with your over 40 baby? I had been through a terrible two years and over all people were happy for me. I did get the odd few saying you’re mad, it’s just starting to get so easy for you!

Were you offered any memorable words of wisdom when you spoke to others (friends, family, midwife, doc) about your pregnancy? Yes, my husband was on quite dangerous medicine at the time, so the docs were a little worried, but I was lucky that they looked after me well. 

jennie-galgey-geriatric-mum
Jennie and her husband, Rich

Describe how if felt to be an older (geriatric) mum? I was actually quite worried about reactions like “is he your grandson?” or “are you his Nanna?” but in reality it was all fine. And even though there is a 9-year gap between the children, I bounced back much quicker with Ben than my first child Jess.

Is your child in school yet? and if so, how do the other mums and teachers react? Yes, he has just finished in reception. I must admit I purposely chose a school with mixed-aged parents and a year in, we are both fine. I am probably fitter than some of the younger mums I know from the school gates. I have just completed the 26-mile moonwalk and Ben keeps me young. I have no regrets.

jennie-galgey-geriatric-mum
Jennie and Ben

Please tell us anything you think fellow geriatric mums would love to read about; advice, coping mechanisms, exercise beauty, body, pelvic floor or anything humorous or helpful. I would say that if you are an older mum, you are not alone. The only difference I can see between myself and other older mums is that they perhaps have a second partner or had re-married.  I have been so much more relaxed and organised with Ben as a result of being an older Mum and I proudly wear my slightly wobbly (alright very wobbly) tummy with pride – after all, it has comfortably housed 2 babies. I must admit, I can’t bring myself to say that I’m a ‘geriatric mum’ – to me this word conjures up thoughts of an old granny!

jennie-galgey-geriatric-mum
Newborn Ben

Thanks Jennie for your frank and open interview. It goes to show that women who are over 40 can do it, too.  I love Jennie’s comment about the term ‘geriatric mum’ – I feel the same, which is why I want to dispel the term and beliefs around this still used term.

I addition to my questions, Jennie wanted to share more about her story which I am delighted to give you here:

“I remember thinking, I can’t believe that I’m going to be 40 years old. I’m going to celebrate in style at a James Bond style party, I want a girly fun trip to Spain, a big dinner party – I wanted it all.

I came back from a trip to Spain to find out that I was pregnant. I was over the moon – for me this was the icing on the cake.  Then I started to get pains and bleeding and was rushed to hospital. I will spare you the other details, but after being in hospital for 2 days, I walked out without my notes and just with a slightly podgy tummy to remind me of my loss. I was devastated!

It was my daughter’s 8th Birthday and I struggled to keep up appearances -inside I was falling apart. Then came the news that my husband would have to start some really strong medication to help him cope with severe arthritis! He was advised this means no trying for a baby. For me this was a bit of a blow and my world darkened. My depression came out in strange ways, first there were tears and this very quickly got worse – I was doing crazy weird things. One particular day, I managed to go through red traffic lights, in my head they were green – looking back on it now I wasn’t thinking straight at all. Another time, I left my passport on the plane in Spain and had to go back through with armed guard to retrieve them. I ended up having to seek help and it took me a while to get back on my feet, back to Jennie. In all honesty the situation was worse for me than losing my Dad. After about a year, I managed to start socialising again, with friends, in groups and with my husband.

At this point my husband was still on the medication and doctor wouldn’t give us any kind of time frame regarding how long he might have to take the meds. We were both still feeling like someone was missing on our life.  We had gone down the route of freezing his sperm, we made this decision and went ahead with this before he went on the medication. I had to fight for it but it felt right. We started to face facts that having a baby wasn’t looking promising, so we decided to adopt. The first agency we went to said that we had been through too much, but I wasn’t taking no for an answer. I found another agency in our area, booked an appointment and it went brilliantly. We were going to adopt a boy and we got through the first round after which they offered us a date.

The date they gave us didn’t fit my work load because I was fully booked with wedding work and as a result, we were put to the back of the list.

After a few drunken weekends with Rich, I felt kinda different. Could it be that I was pregnant? I did a test and it was positive, but I didn’t tell him. We went away on holiday when I was 9 weeks pregnant, and shortly after we got there I started a bleed. My husband took me to hospital and I was in a terrible state. The hospital told us it wasn’t the baby and instructed me to rest -I had to relax with my feet up and no going to the pool. I actually kept the hospital plastic bracelet on until he was 24 weeks, it felt like my lucky charm.

We returned from holiday and I had a further complication with my urine that needed to be treated, but after 16 weeks I returned to normal. Over the next weeks, I had to have continual tests because of the medication and I was being monitored pretty closely.  

Our beautiful baby boy Ben was born at 38 weeks after a stretch and sweep. I had in him a water pool. It was the best feeling and our baby boy was a perfectly healthy 6lbs 4oz.

I was back to working at my first wedding after 6 weeks. I’m fitter and healthier as a result of having a younger child. I feel totally blessed and all the things that people say, like you will be tired or too old to cope is rubbish. I truly feel that age is in the mind, and I am 25!

I was a bit worried that other mums wouldn’t accept me, but I’ve since come to realise that lots of women are having their children later on in life. The odd few are a little shocked that I have a 5-year old, but I don’t experience is that often.  Personally, I don’t care what people think of me anymore, I am elated that my wish to have another child came true. Even my doctors said congratulations on being so determined to get pregnant!”

jennie-galgey-geriatric-mum
A happy healthy Ben

Jennie runs her own Bridal Hairstyling business; go and check it out on facebook www.Facebook.com/bridalhairbyjennie/