This morning my little boy started in his new reception class at the age of 4 and a half. To mark the occasion, I wore a very sparkly gold sequin dress.
When I was a few months pregnant with my third child, someone said to me “but you’ll be 47 when the baby starts school!!!” and the comment has always stuck in my head. I had, of course, done the mental calculations of certain stages of his life, but it didn’t worry me. The only worry I had at that stage was having a healthy pregnancy and enjoying being pregnant. The fact that I was going to be 47 when the baby started school was a good thing, I thought.
I have to say, the thing that surprised me most, was that the person who said it obviously was judging me and my age. At the time I was shocked that she had said it, but because I am polite I brushed it off and got on with my day.
But the comment stuck and I found myself thinking the following things:
- Why would someone focus on my age?
- I felt great!
- What if something went wrong with my pregnancy?
- I would never say anything like that to another pregnant woman.
- Was she happy for me? Did she care?
- What is a 47-year-old women supposed to look like?
- Why do women judge each other?
- I’m excited to see my baby grow up.
- How can I change the narrative around women and age?!
- Why can’t people focus on the good stuff and say “congratulations!”
Five years have passed since that comment, and as I’ve watched my son grow, I have wanted to mark the occasion of him starting school. I asked myself over and over what could I do to show that being 47 at the school gates is not a bad thing.
And then it happened! A few months ago I was invited to be part of the panel at the Mums That Rave summer party and I wore a fab gold dress to the do. I talked about being an older mum, how others had judged my age, my blog and I asked the audience if I should wear the dress I was wearing on my son’s first day. Everyone said YES! I had to do it didn’t I? And so, today, on my son’s first day at school, I put the gold dress on at 8am.
I wore the dress today to say:
- Thanks for your (unhelpful) comments, but we did it!
- You do you!
- Why does age matter?
- Refrain from judging others for their choices/lifestyle/life.
- Older mums rock!
- Mums rock!
- Stop caring about what others think of you.
- Put sequins on and have a great day!
I started this blog and writing about being an older mum five years ago, to help change the perception of older mums. As I began this journey and connecting with other older mums, I started to hear the real reasons why women have babies later in life. I also heard about some of the judgments women are facing when pregnant over 40. I called the blog geriatric mum to stand out, but in no way shape or form do I think it is a good term. How about just mum, instead.
I hope this has inspired you in some way.
Lucy aka Geriatric Mum