Christmas before kids: calm, sparkly, magical, in the pub!
Christmas after kids: chaos, crumbs, and hiding in the pantry with a mince pie.
If you’re a mum holding everything together with willpower and dry shampoo, here’s your guide to surviving the festive season.
1. Drop the Expectations. Seriously.
No one’s Christmas looks like Pinterest.
Your house doesn’t need to smell like cinnamon and accomplishment – those things don’t matter.
2. Delegate
You do NOT need to do everything.
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Partner – shops
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Kids – wrapping squad (quality not guaranteed)
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Anyone who looks capable – dessert
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You – logistics and avoiding burnout
You’re running a household, not Santa’s workshop.
3. Buffet Christmas Is the New Christmas (Air Fryer Queens Unite)
Stop sweating over a full roast like you’re auditioning for a Christmas cooking show.
Buffet is the new tradition.
Cold meats, grazing boards, salads, dips — done.
And listen:
Your air fryer is your best friend.
Chuck in potatoes, veggies, frozen party food, sides, anything.
It’s quick, it’s easy, and no one cares if it wasn’t cooked “properly” because it comes out delicious every time.
4. Prepare for Family Drama
You know the lineup:
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The loud one
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The emotional one
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The sugar-high child
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The person who comments on everything
Take a breath.
Give yourself permission to “check on something in the kitchen” whenever needed.
5. Simplify All Gift Giving
Three words: Same gift, everyone.
Gift vouchers are gifts.
Bottles of wine are gifts.
A box you didn’t wrap because you ran out of energy? Also a gift.
Kids only care about the packaging chaos anyway.
6. Schedule Your Escape Moments
A solo coffee run.
A walk around the block.
A bathroom break where you stare at the wall for 45 seconds.
These are essential mothering strategies.
7. Surrender to the Mess
Your home will look like a festive war zone.
Glitter.
Sticky fingerprints.
Mystery crumbs.
Wrapping paper tumbleweeds.
Clean later. Survive now.
8. You Are Not the Entertainment Committee
You don’t need to plan activities.
You don’t need to be the fun mum.
Kids will entertain themselves with the weirdest things anyway.
You’re allowed to sit down.
9. Say “No” Without A Single Drop of Guilt
No to too many events.
No to hosting if it feels like emotional Olympics.
No to traditions that drain you.
Your peace matters too.
10. Remember What Actually Matters
Not perfection.
Not handmade everything.
Not 14 different side dishes.
It’s the tiny, imperfect moments: the cuddles, the laughs, the disasters that become family stories.
You’re doing amazing.
If you don’t cry in the pantry, fantastic.
If you do cry in the pantry, also fantastic.
It’s Christmas. You’re a mum. You’re allowed.
Wishing you a lovely Christmas and remember to be in the moment – that is all that matters.
Much Love,
Lucy aka Geriatric Mum x
Follow me on instagram @geriatric_mum
